The guilt is real...

I have a job. I like my job. I like to think I am good at my job. Then I come home and my job switches to "mom". And that job pays in hugs, smooches, snuggles and happiness. The pay is different. The hours are longer. The struggles are more challenging. The laughter is pure. The memories are endless. I work both jobs to the best of my ability. 

Sometimes my day job trumps my mom job and that breaks my heart, but my daughter knows this is our plan and we are on the same team so we work together to make the plan work. I never bring stuff home so that when I am home my mom life trumps everything else. 

Today I was unable to get to her school party. I signed up to donate the pretty decorated plates and helped fill out all the Valentines for her class. We don't really celebrate this particular holiday, but to a 9 year old, this is a big deal. I was able to get to her school right as the party ended. 

I ran through her school like a bat out of hell right as she was cleaning off her desk. She hugged me so long and so tight that I almost cried. I said hello to all the littles and helped clean up, made conversation, and took it all in. I helped get her ready for her next class and waved her off. 

15 minutes is what I gave. I felt guilty until I saw the smile on her face. I gave what I could and she accepted it willingly with love, a huge hug, and a tiny little smile. I stopped feeling guilty for a whopping 10 minutes to realize it really is all the little things. And this little thing was big for me and big for her. I showed up. That's it. That's all. No card. No gift. No bravado. 

That's all that counts. And I am okay with that. This mom thing is hard! I never thought a class party would make me reconsider my life choices, but it did. Stay strong moms! It's all about being present, being flexible, and being willing.